


Ruse

by vinegardog



Category: Farscape
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinegardog/pseuds/vinegardog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chiana tries to cheer Aeryn up</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruse

WARNING: this is unadulterated fluff but I had fun writing it!

Thanks to MarieYOTZ and mamageek for betaing this for me – as usual all mistakes are mine and only mine, take your hands off them, girls!

Set at the time of Terra Firma, Season 4

Characters aren’t mine but belong to the Jim Henson Company, thanks for letting us play with them.

No spoilers other than vague references to events previous to Terra Firma

Rated PG 13 for some vague sexual references.

Word count 3441

Ruse (PG 13)

It was a bright warm day, sunshine sparkling off the artificial lake just outside the villa’s windows. Some of the neighbours were setting up barbecues for a garden party, chatting to each other over the fences or stopping along the footpaths while walking their pets, children playing and riding bicycles…a normal day in a normal human wealthy neighbourhood. A cheerful, pleasant day. At least for some. 

But not for Aeryn.

She felt and looked upset and all the cheer outdoors only helped to irritate her more. “What did these people have to be so happy about?” She thought looking outside the windows. Their lives were boring, mundane and this place was hot. She hated how humans seemed to cherish lying out in the sun, exposing skin and flesh – no matter how much or how little flesh their bodies carried – to the sun to “get a tan”. Did they not realise how dangerous the ultraviolet rays of a sun were? That was one of the first things Sebacean children were thought in school and yet the adults among this race seemed to be absolutely clueless of the most basic universal laws. Aeryn detested stupidity and ignorance. 

Yes, she knew, she was being petty.

She realised that she was working herself into a rage over nothing, these people meant very little to her so why get upset? Of course since they had reached Earth, well since maybe a day after they had reached Earth, her mood had taken a downward dive towards black. She was honest enough to know that it had nothing to do with the stupid humans and their daft habits but everything to do with John and his reunion with Caroline. That had hurt. Seeing his ex- girlfriend throw herself in his arms and kiss him had been the equivalent of a pulse blast to her chest. She had tried to cover her upset as well as she could especially with his family standing in the room taking in the entire episode, but she had seen the look that Livvy and Jack had exchanged and she knew that she needed to work on her disguising skills…easier said than done when it came to John. 

With the excuse of meetings and briefings and lectures, he had been around very little in the last few weekens. She knew he was avoiding her and even though a few solar days ago on Moya he had tried to talk to her, she had not thought it the right time to tell him how she felt and to discuss their future, what was the point really? 

The worse thing of all was that Caroline seemed to be really nice, friendly and definitely exceptionally pretty and somewhat his type. It had not escaped Aeryn how physically similar in ways Caroline was to Gilina and how the two of them were diametrically the opposite to her. 

Could she blame John for being attracted to her normality, brightness and easy charm? Aeryn had nothing like it to offer him, she would not kid herself by even trying to compare herself to the other woman. 

She would not fool herself either. She guessed she had been for a long time the best of a very limited choice for John and maybe now that he was back on Earth all he had professed to feel for her had been put into perspective, reduced to what it really was, something that had been important to him then when cut off from his people and way of life but something that he could definitely live without now that he had found his old affections and rhythms of life back on his planet. 

Aeryn knew one thing for sure, she would not beg him or make him feel like he owed her anything, because he didn’t. She had left him after all and had hidden important things from him, she knew she had made serious mistakes and that she may have lost him forever because of them. Somehow she could not see Caroline ever hurting him like that and one thing she really did not want for him was more hurt…they all had had enough of that in the last three and a half cycles.

Voices in the garden just outside the patio door distracted Aeryn from these depressing thoughts. 

From the teasing and flirting cadence of the speech, she knew it could only be Chiana trying to woo one of the guards…yet again! She had been at it since they had arrived and been housed at the villa, unable to resist the four or five tall, black clad, sunglass wearing, muscular men assigned to watching them and protecting them 24/7. 

Aeryn had to give it to Chiana, she really had tried hard to find a chink in their armours but they were as well trained as an elite Peacekeeper fighting unit and to the Nebari’s annoyance they were holding fast, barely acknowledging her existence or politely declining any of her overt advances. 

The patio door slid open, Aeryn turned around in time to see Chiana raise her right hand, middle finger straightened out towards the back of the closest guard. Aeryn could not help but smile, that was a gesture that Chiana was now, after finding out its true meaning, really fond of and that she was unable to stop herself from producing whenever something did not go her way, in spite having been told several times by both Olivia and Jack that it was really not the thing to do among polite people.

Chiana slid the patio door closed a little more forcefully than required first of all to give vent to her frustration and secondly to avoid the cold a/c air of the inside from escaping, knowing that Aeryn much preferred the cooler temperatures. 

She looked at the black haired Sebacean standing by the window and with real annoyance she said “What is wrong with those frelniks? I have been trying every single trick in my book including jiggling my loomas but do you think I could get a rise out of any of them? Well, maybe a couple of times I got a rise alright, I have definitely seen bulging in their trousers on a few occasions of that I am sure, but certainly no frelling action!” she ended with a naughty grin.

Aeryn shook her head, in spite of herself feeling a wave of affection for Chiana “You are truly incorrigible, Chi. John asked you several times to leave them alone, after all they are only doing their job.”

“Oh, Aeryn, don’t be such a pain in my eema, their job could be a lot more pleasant if they only let me show them what wonders aliens have to offer! And don’t tell me that you would not like to get some recreation with one of them, they may be boring but they are certainly well built and I would like to be able to say that I sampled a few humans by the time we leave Earth!” She longingly glanced at the one standing right outside in the garden. 

She then turned back to Aeryn and impishly said: “Well I guess you have already sampled John a few times, so tell me, am I missing much?”

At the mention of John’s name in that context, Aeryn stiffened just a little, the light mood now turning into a much sourer one as if by magic. Chiana realised what she had said a microt too late.   
She saw the other woman’s face cloud up again and her heart went out to her. She herself could barely look at John and Caroline together, could not bear the thought that he would choose her and Earth over them, so she could only imagine what it must be like for Aeryn being put through that, day in, day out.

With the innocence and spontaneity she often surprised them with, Chiana covered the ground really quickly between the two of them and threw her arms around Aeryn’s shoulders. “I am sorry, Aeryn. I know you are down in the dumps about Crichton and his tralk, so I am going to make it my mission to cheer you up whether you like it or not.”

Aeryn tried to disentangle herself from Chiana’s hug but her attempt was only half hearted so after a little struggle, she gave in and let the younger woman hold her. This felt good, she couldn’t deny it and Chiana meant well, she knew that.

“Caroline is not a tralk, Chi, and I don’t think there is anything you can do to make me feel better at least not about John.”

“Oh but you underestimate me, Aeryn!” Chiana smiled pulling back a little from the hug and now looking at Aeryn eye to eye “We are going to have a girls night out and you are going to enjoy yourself, I’m going to make sure of that!”

Aeryn finally slipped out of Chiana’s arms and tried to walk out of the room: “I really don’t think so, Chi…”

But Chiana had made up her mind and there was very little now that would sway her away from her plans, so hopping excitedly from foot to foot, she followed Aeryn out into the hallway and up the stairs towards the bedrooms. 

“Please, please Aeryn, I am bored and you are sad and D’Argo and all these stupid humans are ignoring me. I need a bit of action and I need it now and you, you need to get over Crichton even if just for a few arns and what better way than our going out, letting loose, getting tralk drunk and falling into bed at the end of the night, maybe with a male human or two for company?!”

Aeryn tried to block her out but it was like trying to ignore Rygel’s belches and farts, you could try as hard as you liked but in the end they always got you! The same with Chiana, she was hopping like a flibbisk from one side to the other, grabbing her arm and pleading and cajoling and Aeryn just knew she did not have the energy to fight this. Chiana had plenty of time on her hands and she could be as stubborn as Crichton when it suited her, so with a shrug of her shoulders Aeryn finally caved: 

“Fine, Chiana, I will go out with you, that’s of course provided you can get Jack to get permission for us to leave the villa, I will not sneak out and I want the humans to be on board with whatever you are planning.” Her hope was of course that Chiana would be faced by a wall of bureaucracy, which seemed to rule everything on this planet, and that all her attempts would be thwarted. 

Chiana squealed in delight when Aeryn finally gave in and jumped up and grabbed her into a hug “You will not regret this, that’s a promise!”

\-------------------------------

Aeryn had obviously underestimated Chiana’s ability to get things done. Less than 24 arns later, her bedroom door opened, no knock or voice warning, and a grey blur literally cannonballed on the bed nearly bouncing her out of it. 

Chiana had a big smile plastered on her face which made Aeryn think of a saying John was fond of using ‘like the cat that got the cream’, a saying that she had only really understood since her arrival on Earth, her encounter with cats and her tasting of cream.

“Aeryn get up, we are going shopping and tonight we are going to a tisko!”

Aeryn’s heart sank a little “What’s a tisko?”

“It’s place where humans apparently go to dance and find recreational mates!” Chiana beamed really proud of her accomplishments.

“Well I don’t dance, Chiana, and…”

“Yes, but you recreate, don’t you? So you can learn to dance, practice your recreation and apparently you can do that all in the one place!” Chiana interrupted and then jumping off the bed pulled Aeryn by the hand.

“Come on, Olivia will be here in a few microts to take us shopping…she is great, I really like her, all I had to do was call her and she organised the whole thing with her father! Security is going to be stepped up at the tisko tonight just for us and she has also invited John’s friend’s wife to come along, she said that a girls night out should have at least four girls. You know who I am talking about right? The not so pretty, really boring scientist…”

“I think her name is Laura, Chiana, and John’s friend is called DK…”

“Yes, whatever, Aeryn! We are going shopping so hurry up!”

Aeryn got up with a sigh, got dressed and prepared herself for a torturous afternoon followed by the sounds of things by an even more torturous night.

\--------------------------------------------

Four arns later, Olivia dropped the girls and their many shopping bags back at the villa with the promise of picking them up at 21.00 sharp that night. 

Aeryn had to admit that the afternoon had not been as bad as she expected, they had gone shopping followed step by step by their body guards, which made it kind of uncomfortable, but after a while they had forgotten all about them and actually started really enjoying themselves. 

She had let herself be dragged into a nail parlour and a beauty salon and in spite of her reluctance to admitting it, being pampered had felt good. For the first time in her entire life, her nails had been polished and painted in what Olivia had called a “French manicure”, understated but really pretty. Her hair cascaded in long shiny strands around her shoulders, thick and smelling of some sort of flower she had already forgotten the name of and after both Chiana and Olivia absolutely refused to take no for an answer, she had gone ahead and let them buy her a dress – too short, too red and too revealing for her taste but which apparently made her look like a sex goddess in Chiana’s opinion and drop dead gorgeous in Olivia’s more restrained one.

The rest of the evening went by really fast between their unpacking their purchases, grabbing something to eat, getting teased by D’Argo and Rygel who thought the idea of their going out dancing absolutely ridiculous and fahrbot in that order. They both obviously got Chiana’s favourite gesture in response followed by her storming out in a flurry of excitement about getting dressed and ready for the night. 

Aeryn followed her more slowly up the stairs, now really dreading having to wear such a ridiculous garment. She had promised Chiana however and she would keep her promise.

After a quick shower, there she was, wearing the tight, wrap-around dress - which showed her long legs from well above the knee and a preposterous amount of her cleavage, which she had not realised she had in such abundance, further enhanced by something Olivia had called a “wonder bra” – humans really had the strangest names for everyday items! 

She kept staring at herself in her bedroom mirror unsure as to whether she would actually find the courage to leave her room, never mind the villa, dressed like this. 

Besides the fact that she could barely walk in the high heels she had been told she absolutely had to wear with that dress, she actually felt naked. She would have preferred to face a Sheiyang or even a Scarran in hand to hand battle than go out among people looking like this.

She heard the front door bell ring in the distance and knew she was running out of time, that must be Olivia and Laura coming to collect them. 

She took a deep breath and silently encouraged herself “You can do this, Aeryn! It is only one night and then it’s over and you can get back into your normal leather clothes and boots.”

She set her jaw, braced herself and tottered out on to the landing – these shoes really were ridiculous – a little part of her however could not help but admiring human females for the ease they showed in wearing such highly dangerous footwear!

She grabbed the handrail and steadied herself, took a long breath and put all of her concentration on going down the stairs without breaking her neck. When she finally got to the last three steps, it dawned on her that there seemed to be an eerie silence downstairs where she would have expected the excited voices of at least Chiana and Olivia chattering away in their usual bubbly manner. 

She looked up to see where everybody was and found herself face to face with John.

He had obviously followed her careful and concentrated descent down the stairs, a look of astonishment was plastered across his face mixed in with what, try as he might to hide it, was clearly deep appreciation of her beauty as well as more primal and raw run of the mill lust.

Aeryn’s cheeks flushed at the unexpected sight of him, making her if possible even more breath-taking, and then trying to regain her composure she nonchalantly said “Hello, John, we weren’t expecting you! Where is Caroline?”

He never even heard the question, his mind, like Elvis, had left the building. 

Chiana however shed some light on his presence when, stepping forward and tucking her arm under his, sweetly said: 

“Thank you, John, for rushing to the rescue but it turns out after all that it was not an emergency and that you are no longer needed…” She looked at Aeryn and winked. 

D’Argo who throughout the entire scene had been standing with arms crossed at the sitting room door flanked by Rygel, shook his head in disbelief at Chiana’s underhandedness in getting John here tonight under totally false pretences. 

Rygel, who actually thought Aeryn looked even uglier than usual, munching away on a candy cane exclaimed: “What the yotz is going on? Why is John standing there like a mute moron, what is Chiana talking about and…where are you going?” the last question aimed at D’Argo’s back retreating towards the kitchen.

D’Argo’s over his shoulder only reply to Rygel was: “I am going to get Noranti”. He then continued muttering to himself: “She will have her hands full tonight making an extra large batch of lakka pouches. John will require quadruple the amount after this!”

__________________________________________

The rest of the night went by like a blur, Olivia and Laura arrived just a few microts later and whisked Chiana and Aeryn away in a black limousine.

Aeryn was on an unusual and unnatural high and actually quite enjoyed giving death stares to the many men who tried to approach her at the bar – had this been a battleground bodies would have been piling up around her in gruesome numbers. She drank lots of colourful drinks with umbrellas and funny names and enjoyed watching Chi trying to mate with every single male and, in a couple of cases, females, in the room and felt sorry for Olivia and Laura who were desperately trying to shoo Chi’s victims away to avoid an intergalactic scandal and a breakdown of the new and still tenuous human/alien relations.

Several arns later, the limo finally stopped outside the front door to let an exhilarated Chiana and a very drunk Aeryn out.

Chiana opened the front door with one hand while holding Aeryn up with the other arm, thinking to herself that she might need to wake D’Argo up to actually help her carry the now barefooted and dishevelled Sebacean back to her room. “Are you alright, Aeryn?”

“No, I think I am going to be shick!” the last word coming out pretty much unintelligible

“Oh, no, you won’t, not before we get to the bathroom!” Chiana half dragged and half pushed her into the downstairs loo, made her kneel over the toilet bowl and held her hair back from her face. “Well, now you can let it rip, if you want!” An invitation that Aeryn gratefully accepted.

After the worse of the heaving and retching was over, Aeryn still bent over the toilet in case of a last microt reoccurrence, searched for Chiana’s hand, found it and squeezed it.

“Thank you, Shi!” she slurred

Chiana laughed: “What? For getting you sick?”

Aeryn shook her head

So Chiana continued: “Oh you mean for getting John here and making his head explode then?”

With a huge effort, Aeryn lifted her head, looked at Chiana with a hint of glee in her eyes and nodded.

The two girls melted into giggles.

The End


End file.
